Mr Cowell he sooooo goood

Some serious and some frivolous noodlings on music

Why Simon Cowell is good for music. Surely some mistake…. A list then:

  • By launching karaoke as a national pastime on TV he’s forcing people to either go back and find the original songs or to go elsewhere to get their music if they don’t want to sing along
  • Good original performers with no chance now of getting on TV will look for better and more original ways to get their music heard (yeah for the internet!)
  • Natural teeth colouring will come back as no one will want teeth as white as his, meaning any non Cowell music on TV will be more noticeable because of the bad teeth, and therefore British bands stand a better chance of making it
  • All these cover versions mean more money for the original composers if they haven’t already sold their soul, ha ha ha ha…..
  • It keeps really annoying idiots away from gigs (cos they’re trying to get on one of his shows)
  • No more karaoke machines in pubs
  • Early Dylan will be acclaimed as people tire of all the Cowell led false self flagellation and self pity
  • Cowell music keeps Pete Docherty off the front pages (and perhaps means he has to write some music to get the money to score the drugs)
  • We will at last realise that all those dreadful novelty records he produced were awful and not kooky as we recognise his hand in them
  • He gives underemployed has beens something to do other than make comeback records by appearing on his shows thereby saving our ears
  • He will use more and more makeup which will hopefully mean less for KISS and therefore lessening the chances of any more tours
  • It gave Susan Boyle something to do
  • It keeps Simon Cowell out in the open where we can keep an eye on him
  • It means no one else has to be him

Overwrought and overblown: this is not a classic

In the dock this time: Pink Floyd’s The Wall

One upon a paisley underground the Floyd were a good band but then poor old Syd has to leave, and from underneath the mouldy mushroom crept the monstrous ego of Roger Waters (eek! Send the kids to bed now). It is this fearsome ego that gave birth to the monster that is the Wall. The album. The show. The film. The Show. And on and on. But its longevity as a cash making cow is only one of the crimes

This is a double album of insufferable self pity and tripe. I mean, who really wants to hear the boo hoos of a wealthy rock star like Waters? Oh what a miserable middle class upbringing you had poor Roger. Get over it. But don’t write trite lyrics about it. Oh you did. Never mind, you do know Roger that it’s not really very clever to complain about being a rock star (oh you did) when IT WAS YOUR CHOICE!

This is the album then that defines pretentiousness. It set the benchmark. It’s bad Woody Allen set to music. “Oh my parents. Oh my school. Woe is me!” Who cares?

However as with a flawed masterpiece this pile of twaddle is not total perfect rubbish and it does have the redeeming perfection of Comfortably Numb. And that’s it. Nothing else. And the worse thing is that people not only bought it but kept on buying it. And watching it. And buying it. Buy any Floyd you want but nothing after Wish You Were Here.


The only way to enjoy “The Wall” is to treat it as a comedy album. Put on a Buster Keaton film and use this.

On a more practical level I did see someone melt the LPs once to use them as ashtrays.

Time to plug an album and a band

The album is Sigh No More by Mumford and Sons. Glorious, simple and delicious it’s guaranteed to put a smile on your face and get your feet tapping. Folky in a good way it deserves playing everywhere.

The band I’ve chosen is Keston Cobbler’s Club. They’re on MySpace which is how I found them and they’ve got some groovy little tunes and things going on. The video for You Go is a funny little thing and well worth a look. It’s like my boys school class were given money and a camera, and he’s six. Go check it out.

That’s all folks!


~ by rgboulter on July 17, 2010.

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